Death by Tamales
by pondsplash800
Summary: My family and a friend made tamales today, this is a list of the ways you can die while making them.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I decided to do this while helping my parents make tamales. My friend is over to help us and my dad almost burned her hand off with the juice that goes in the masa, so I started making this list in my head while helping my mom with the chili.**

Death by Tamales

1. **Make sure to cool down the juice before you pour it in the masa **

My dad comes in with a pot of yellowish juice, about to pour it in the masa. He misses the masa and covers Marie's hand with burning hot juice. She's fine right now, but she has a giant red welt on the back of her hand.

2. **Don't use a bag of corn husks to play catch, you'll end up hitting your mom in the head**

I grabbed a bag of husks and threw it at Marie, we passed it back and forth for a while. We ran to the other room when it hit my mom in the back of the head.

3. **Don't start a food fight with the masa, someone will end up with it on their face**

Marie threw a handfull of masa at me, I ducked and threw some at her, only when she ducked my aunt was behind her. Let's just say it will take a while to get the masa out of her hair.

4. **Put hot water in the sink to clean the corn husks. Not that hot!**

Pretty self-explanitory, let's just say my hands are really red right now.

5. **Keep to your side of the bowl when helping your dad mix the masa**

My dad has really sharp nails, and it doesn't help that we put a bunch of salt in the masa before he covered my hands in scratches (this happened before the hot water one)

6. **That chili's hot!**

My mom told me to bring the crock pot full of chili to the table so we could stuff the tamales. She didn't mention that it was frikin hot, so I grabbed it without using the pot holders (well, i'm an idiot. What did you expect?)

7.** Be carefull while spreading the masa on the husks**

Who knew a butter knife could cause really bad injuries?

8. **Don't get the chili in your eyes **

It was Marie's turn to stuff the tamales and she just dropped the spoon into the pot of chili. She found out that it splashes when you do that, and most of the time it will splash into your eyes. When it does splah in your eyes it will hurt, a lot

9. **Watch out for that- Nevermind**

Watch out for chairs when you're walking next to a table that is being used to make tamales, you will probably trip and almost impale yourself on a knife.

10. **Don't stand that close to the stove**

My mom almost had her sleve burned off when she got a little too close to the stove when my aunt turned it on, not one sleve is about three inches shorter than the other and a little blackish.

**A/N: I wish I could say that no one was harmed in the making of this list but...I don't lie. **

**I have been doing this in my breaks from making the tamales. There is always something that I can use happening. The only reason I stopped at ten is because we finished the tamales **

**Bye! And don't forget this list whenever you're making tamales!**


	2. PIPA bill

HEY THERE

HEY CHECK THIS OUT FIRST VIMP SEND IT TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW

Okay everyone pay attention, BIG NEWS AFOOT.

I recently discovered that there is a new bill called PIPA that is if is pass it will REMOVE EVERY STORY IN ALL OF FANFICTION.

The U.S government is trying to take away this site! We have to kill that bill. The thing is I am not an American citizen. But many people who read this are. There is a fanfiction member under the penname of XxDarkxBloodxX he has more information about that, including the phone numbers of all the state senators. Check this link for more information .net/s/7753936/1/PIPA and also google Bill PIPA and you will know I am not joking.

We are over 2 million members and most of them are in the United States. If we most of us work together we can kill this bill. So to every citizen reading this DON'T LET YOUR GOVERNMENT CENSOR THIS SITE. To everyone reading this who isn't a U.S citizen, make author notes like this one so that your American readers vote against this bill and I encourage the American members to spread the voice as well.

I repeat, this is no joke! We have until the January 24th. EVERYONE, FIGHT THIS BILL!

People, I have an idea. It seems that Hollywood is a major supporter of PIPA and SOPA. They even threaten Obama to don't give him any money for his reelection campaign.

So to everyone who can't vote because you are either too young or not an American citizen, you can join a world-wide boycott movement against Hollywood. From tomorrow Friday 20 to Sunday 22 of January DON'T GO TO THE MOVIE TEATHER.

Seriously, just three short days for us that we can live without movies and Hollywood will lose millions of dollars world-wide. It will also send a message to their leader: FANFICTION MEMBERS WILL FIGHT AGAINST PIPA AND SOPA. Then they might start having second thoughts.

So everyone please cooperate for the sake of this site. Just three short days for us but it will be a pain in the pocket for Hollywood, the main opposition. So let's rally against our common enemy.

We can do this people! So you know the drill and now go spread the word!

FOR FANFICTION!

I have more information everyone. Believe it or not, this cybernetic apocalypse is already starting. One of the most important websites of file exchange known as Megaupload has already been shut down by the FBI all thanks to this blasted bill. And it gets worse. I manage to find a legit list of all the sites that will be shut down (so far, the list may grow bigger).

For downloading sites, the ones scheduled for execution are:

Mediafire

Rapidshare

Uploading

Fileserve

4share

Filestube

Ares

Limeware

Emule

Edonkey

Torrents

For Blackberry cellphone related things:

Duoberry

.com

Lips

And even the social network ones like:

Facebook

Youtube

Myspace

Google ( videos )

Wikipedia

We can't allow this to happen! We have to fight! And we can fight. There is a website called www. avaaz. Org / es / save _ the _ internet. You can sign up there for the petition. It requires your email and I know many people don't like to give that away but if there has ever been a worthy cause to give your email address to, this is it. Let's face it; what use will we give our email aside from contacting other people if they shut down all these websites? An email address will became almost worthless. So go to that website and help save the internet.

By the way, if anyone wants to copy paste the information of these author's notes to PM it or post it in your own stories to help spread the word, by all means go ahead.

And remember the boycott against Hollywood; three short days for us, millions of dollars less to our opposition. We can do this people! And we will do it!

FOR FANFICTION! DOWN WITH THE BILL

Please post this on your stories and pm it. Even if you have friends not on fanfiction I'm sure you can catch there attention with youtube!

I am putting up a video on Youtube of me uploading this notice! We won't loose our sites!


End file.
